Frozen cow pies can be deadly


 One of the great memories I have as a child is of putting on all the warm winter gear, dad building bonfires,  Mom fixing hot chocolate  and us kids going sleigh riding as proud mom and pop clapped and beamed from the sideline.

We’d zip down these ole mountains on anything we could find.  It wasn’t unusual to be sliding down on tires, trash can lids, car hoods, you name it we probably tuned it into a super sonic sled.

As I’m sure you’re probably thinking,  Yes,  it is amazing we all lived through that unscathed.

I figure that when you’re 40-50 pounds you’re so light that even if you do have a little crash,  you just don’t have the impact force that an adult has. I’m assuming that’s why mom and dad just observed and never joined in on the fun.

You know,  there are times I wonder, just how I missed some of the very important lessons in life that my parents tried so hard to teach me. 

Several years ago,  around this time of year,  my brother Joe and I were reminiscing about great times we had as a child. 

Ahhh,  wouldn’t it be great to go sleigh riding!

We are still young.  Forty’s are young, aren’t they?

Off we go,  we were going sleigh riding. 

  I had a couple of those plastic dome shaped disks they sell at Wal-mart for “kids” to use for sleigh riding.  

Very cool looking sleds,  wondering  if we should wax the bottom so we can gain some super sonic speeds,  like old times.

We grab our thin plastic  little sleds and race to the top.   Racing to the top of the hay field was harder than I remembered.  After catching our breath we were  able to communicate in complete sentences instead of spitting out short little words so it wouldn’t appear to each other that we were totally gasping for air.   The plan,  we would have a race to the bottom on our little round plastic disk sleds.   First one to the bottom wins and off we go! 

As I laid at the bottom of the mountain,  with snow crammed down the back of my pants,  starring up at the sky and wondering if I was still alive, wondering where Joe was or was he dead too!

I truly had a pain in the ass for I think I broke my tailbone. 

I rolled over and found Joe and asked, “WTF happened,  did we hit something?”

Joe was laying on his back too.   Unable to move, moaned, “Man,  I think we hit some cow pies”

All I can remember thinking was what my obituary was going to say. 

Poor sue,  passed today, frozen and covered in shit. 

I learned some very important lessons that day.   Live for today.  Trying to relive yesterday can sometimes stink and  Never, ever, go sleigh riding in a cow pasture because  frozen cow pies can be deadly!


One Response

  1. Loved it!

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