dying with dignity

Part of life is death.  What we do in between is a huge series of choices which becomes our legacy.

What a gift it would be to die with dignity.  Sounds good,doesn’t it?  I assure you that’s way harder than it sounds.

When you hear the final word from your medical team that you fought beside for your life to be extended just a little bit longer,  and that news is not what you were hoping for.  It’s devastating. All that you thought you were.  Is no more.

Scarred, Angry, exhausted, heart broken.  Emotions that have been burried away so far that you thought those emotions only happened to other people.  Not you.

A big part of dying with dignity is acceptance.  If you could change what was happening, you would.  But reality is, you can’t.

Real dignity is comforting those whom you are leaving behind.  Find the courage to comfort them in their grief too,  knowing that someday,  we will be renited once again.

This is no dought a tall order for someone in their final days but it will be the greatest  gift that you can leave behind to those whom you love, and love you.

Each day that you get up is a day left that you can accept what is happening.  Reach out to those you need to and give yourself peace and the freedom to return to god with dignity,  smiling from ear to ear.  Your mission is done and your legacy will remain in the hearts of those left behind.


Ring of Courage

Fall is my favorite time of year.  The weather is cooling down but not too cold yet.  Holidays are just around the corner.  Really happy time for me and those I’m close to.

This year,  however, is different.  A friend who I spent a decade of my life with.  Giggling for hours without a care in the world is fighting for her life with stage 4 cancer,  she is just 47.

I know we all will have our time to go.  We all have our purpose.  But knowing doesn’t fix the hurt, the pain.

We haven’t been close in the past few years and even some conflict and dirty deeds laid roadblocks at any chance of reconciliation.  I truely wish we had not spent the short amount of time that we had together on this earth in conflict.

A ring of courage surrounding this person and you are being wished nothing less than a miracle.  You are being sent much love and wishes for healing from many people who love you no matter what.

If you leave this earth,  hold your head high knowing you left behind many people who love you and hope to see you on the other side.

Love always,

Suzi and Mom

Can Broken relationships be mended?

Imagine walking into your best friends house. Just inside the door sits an elaborately decorated vase, inside a protective case. You love antiques. It’s gorgeous. You admire its art and beauty. You know you should look and not touch. But, your curiosity has taken away your common sense and you just have to see if you can recognize it’s markings on the bottom of the piece. Maybe you can find something that beautiful in one of your travels if you could just get a better look. You pick it up high, change the angle a couple times. It’s old, hard to see. Just as your friend is shutting the door and making idle conversation, never knowing her husbands family air loom that has been in the family since the 1700’s is not in it’s spot, until she hears the crash.

Yes, you feel terrible. You dropped and cracked your friends vase. You are so sorry. You assure her you’ll pay for it. Yes, that’s it. Assume responsibility, so very sorry. you will replace it or pay for it. Just let me know what to do.

Now for the truth. Wake up Alice, wonderland is just around the corner. The vase is a family estate piece called the “Dragon and Lotus” and it’s worth is $3 million dollars.

Your heart drops. You don’t have $3 million. You can’t borrow $3 million and it doesn’t change the fact that the vase is broken.

What now? Can the vase be mended? Well Yes it can be sent to a specialty artist who specializes in restorations but then it will be a mended vase. It may be the only option because you can’t change what has happened but it will never be the same. It will still be the vase, but the vase has cracks.

Can your relationship with your best friend ever be the same? the short answer is no. Can your relationship be mended? It can be, but it will have cracks too. The relationship will not be the same because it has had a dramatic event that changed it whether it was intentional or not.

Can your relationship be better than before? Yes, and that is when you know you have a unique and spiritual relationship with this person. It will take a lot of love and forgiveness.  Mainly love.   If your energy’s are truly on the same path,  peace can be make and your relationship not only mended but improved.

Most broken relationships don’t even closely resemble something of this magnitude. Very small hurt feelings or disappointments can turn many relationships into unbelievable drama, hate, revenge, sorrow and even death .  A relationship that is not meant to be is going to find a way to self destruct.  That is when you will simply be feeding negative energies rather than filling yourself with people who are more aligned with your spirit.

It is in my belief that any relationship,  if it is intended by our higher power,  to be in the best interest of those involved , anything broken can be healed. It is also in my belief that we are protected by our higher power and not every relationship will be healed and we must accept and thank our creator for his guidance.

Now don’t be too quick to jump on the high and mighty  train.  It may be you that’s not good for the other person,  instead of visa versa.  😉

Groundhog day

Loved the movie Groundhog day.  Bill Murray was perfect for that part.  Bill has this innocent blank stare that I don’t think anyone can duplicate.  There are not very many movies that I watch more than once but that was one of them.

The lesson in groundhog day for me was realizing that many of us do just what Bill Murray did in that movie,  probably with a similar blank stare. We don’t even realize that we get up day after day and do the same thing over and over with little emotion or thought.  Like well programed robots.

We carry the same emotional baggage with us every where we go.  We hold on to grudges from a half century ago,  still trying to convince ourselves that we were right,  of course.  Most people really aren’t listening enough to convince them of anything so your basically only convincing yourself

We relive our childhood over and over, good and bad.   We still blame bubba from third grade for the constant “teasing”,  even though Bubba is 50 now and not even the same person he was 40 years ago.

You know there is freedom in letting go.  How can you grow and enjoy the new day when you are insistent on reliving yesterday for the remainder of your lifetime.   I don’t think most of want to die with the huge storage chest of nonsense that they have collected and cared for like fine crystal.  Let it go.  Live for today and may your new day be joyful .  If it’s not, find out why and work toward changing it.  Accept that you and only you are in control of your life, your destiny.  Stop the silly blame games and accept as humans we are all good and bad.  Don’t get stuck in Groundhog day and relive the same story day after day.  Get out there and live, love and laugh.

Courage Ring

I have started a new web site called Courage Ring .   This is not my first Rodeo in the on-line Jewelry market but it is the first time that it’s my own designs.  We have spent a great deal of the summer seeking out quality beading and gemstone materials.  I like to use some vintage in my designs to make my creations a little different than the average.

The site is broken down in the following category’s:   Pink Ribbon Jewelry , Purple Ribbon MerchandiseInspirational JewelryMotivational Jewelry and Spiritual Jewelry .

We use hand carved mother of pearl birds and gemstone bears as our main attraction.  We surround our courage rings with pearl beads, 14 k gold filled beads, acrylic beads, glass beads and crystal.  We use bright colors and a comfortable stretch band.  I hope you will visit and enjoy courage ring Jewelry as much as we do.

Accutane – The miracle cure or lifetime sentence of misery?

Even though I know it’s not the Spiritual way to be, I wish for just one day that the CEO of Hoffmann-La Roche could walk just one day in the shoes of a person who ingested Accutane.

It’s hard to even describe how difficult life has been since my husband ingested Accutane nearly 19 years ago.  Every day is a struggle.  The numerous side effects that have lasted long after the treatment,  has been the most horrible thing I have ever seen someone go through.  The medical system is just draining because they can only treat the symptoms they can’t take away the damage.  It took many, many  years for the medical system to even identify his problem and start getting him treatment,  even though he was going to the doctor on a regular basis trying to get help.  We are now drained medically,    insurance we  can’t keep up with, knowing  he needs more treatments just to stay alive.    

Humiliated and drained we face each day.   Most of our friends and family have either become distant or at the very best they can’t understand.   It’s hard to be very social or a friend to anyone when you struggle just to get through one more day.   Holidays don’t exist.  Vacations aren’t even thought of ,  everyday is just getting through to the next.

 Hoffman has their  team of  lawyers and will drag out assisting all the Accutane victims as long as they can.  Maybe they can sit back and justify their actions for years to come waiting for many of the victims to die.   I hope that deep down in their soul they can absorb what they have done to the lives of  so many.  We can’t turn back time and neither can they but facing their responsibilities would be a refreshing thing to see for many who have suffered for so long.



The forum people

About ten years ago our local newspaper had an online forum that was attached to the e-edition of the paper.  I hadn’t been online very long at that time,  a couple of years maybe at most.  It was really fascinating at first.  Everybody seemed to know each other and they played,  told jokes and argued about politics and religion.  Mostly they argued,  but for some reason as a bystander looking in,   it looked like fun.

After watching the characters for a while, I joined.  Called my friend and she joined and I have to admit.  It was fun.  We had a blast.  Within a short period of time things got carried away and the paper shut it down.  Too much arguing getting out of hand would be the short version. 

The participants of the forums were all hopelessly addicted.  Including me or maybe I should say mainly me. 😉  Soon several different forums spun off of that one,  after it was closed.  We hadn’t had enough yet!  Several rivalries had developed.  So members split up and went to different forums.  Eventually my friend an I were hosting one of those forums.  Somehow that’s when the fun stopped.  It was much more fun to participate than to moderate.  

It’s been several years since I seriously participated in forums.  The hosting our own forum,  cured my friend and I both of our forum addiction.  However a few days ago a fellow participant called and left a message on my voicemail.   Somehow it was like a drug and it just called me  back. 

I find myself  trying to remember where some of the old places were.  I didn’t have this persons e-mail so I was visiting places I thought they might be.  Looking at several different sites,  some two or three times,  wondering if they used the same user name.  Recognizing some old names.  Cruising down memory lane and wasting time.

Suddenly,  as I entered one of the old sites for maybe the 3rd time.  Cruising from one site to the next.  I see “Sorry user,  you are banned from using this forum.”  

Now even when I did frequent forums,  I don’t think I ever really got in any trouble.  However this one forum used to always ban me.  It was so funny.  I’m happy to say that cured my curiosity for the forum people.  I’m glad I’ve moved on from that but sometimes a little reminders not a bad thing.