Accutane – The miracle cure or lifetime sentence of misery?

Even though I know it’s not the Spiritual way to be, I wish for just one day that the CEO of Hoffmann-La Roche could walk just one day in the shoes of a person who ingested Accutane.

It’s hard to even describe how difficult life has been since my husband ingested Accutane nearly 19 years ago.  Every day is a struggle.  The numerous side effects that have lasted long after the treatment,  has been the most horrible thing I have ever seen someone go through.  The medical system is just draining because they can only treat the symptoms they can’t take away the damage.  It took many, many  years for the medical system to even identify his problem and start getting him treatment,  even though he was going to the doctor on a regular basis trying to get help.  We are now drained medically,    insurance we  can’t keep up with, knowing  he needs more treatments just to stay alive.    

Humiliated and drained we face each day.   Most of our friends and family have either become distant or at the very best they can’t understand.   It’s hard to be very social or a friend to anyone when you struggle just to get through one more day.   Holidays don’t exist.  Vacations aren’t even thought of ,  everyday is just getting through to the next.

 Hoffman has their  team of  lawyers and will drag out assisting all the Accutane victims as long as they can.  Maybe they can sit back and justify their actions for years to come waiting for many of the victims to die.   I hope that deep down in their soul they can absorb what they have done to the lives of  so many.  We can’t turn back time and neither can they but facing their responsibilities would be a refreshing thing to see for many who have suffered for so long.



The forum people

About ten years ago our local newspaper had an online forum that was attached to the e-edition of the paper.  I hadn’t been online very long at that time,  a couple of years maybe at most.  It was really fascinating at first.  Everybody seemed to know each other and they played,  told jokes and argued about politics and religion.  Mostly they argued,  but for some reason as a bystander looking in,   it looked like fun.

After watching the characters for a while, I joined.  Called my friend and she joined and I have to admit.  It was fun.  We had a blast.  Within a short period of time things got carried away and the paper shut it down.  Too much arguing getting out of hand would be the short version. 

The participants of the forums were all hopelessly addicted.  Including me or maybe I should say mainly me. ;-)  Soon several different forums spun off of that one,  after it was closed.  We hadn’t had enough yet!  Several rivalries had developed.  So members split up and went to different forums.  Eventually my friend an I were hosting one of those forums.  Somehow that’s when the fun stopped.  It was much more fun to participate than to moderate.  

It’s been several years since I seriously participated in forums.  The hosting our own forum,  cured my friend and I both of our forum addiction.  However a few days ago a fellow participant called and left a message on my voicemail.   Somehow it was like a drug and it just called me  back. 

I find myself  trying to remember where some of the old places were.  I didn’t have this persons e-mail so I was visiting places I thought they might be.  Looking at several different sites,  some two or three times,  wondering if they used the same user name.  Recognizing some old names.  Cruising down memory lane and wasting time.

Suddenly,  as I entered one of the old sites for maybe the 3rd time.  Cruising from one site to the next.  I see “Sorry user,  you are banned from using this forum.”  

Now even when I did frequent forums,  I don’t think I ever really got in any trouble.  However this one forum used to always ban me.  It was so funny.  I’m happy to say that cured my curiosity for the forum people.  I’m glad I’ve moved on from that but sometimes a little reminders not a bad thing.

Facebook like button Invasion

Everybody who has used Facebook has noticed the little thumbs up button, intended to share links with your friends.  Of corse,  some of us have only noticed them on Facebook,  not on just your basic web pages.   Well,  maybe I missed the latest issue of Facebook for Dummies,  but I never realized those innocent little thumbs up buttons have invaded various sites in cyber world.

A friend calls,  she’s got a lil female problem.  As our conversation evolves,  I find myself searching the internet for answers.  Give her a little peace of mind or possibly the  heads up that she needs to see a doctor asap.  I’m helpful that way, which may not be a good thing,   in retrospect. 

My searching leads me to  Nice family safe site with lots of good medical information.  I honestly have to say it had the most basic information that pertained  that I found during my search. 

The article “How to Diagnose Vaginal Discharge”,  sounds innocent enough, right?  Talking about convience,  there was that cute little thumbs up button,  allowing me share with my friend.   How Cool!  No need to book mark or copy and paste,  just send it on over.   heh heh heh

Now here lyes the problem.  First,  I don’t have a facebook page.  My hubby does,  however.  He uses it for business,  maybe some old friend contacts that he’s lost touch with over the years,  a few family members.  Actually,  he rarely used it.  Apparently he did recently,  because he was still logged in.  Rut-Row,  Scooby,  I smell trouble here.

Another strange thing about Facebook is,  it appears people never really post that much in our circle.  They log in,  stare at each other.  Spam a link or two and move on.  I’ll tell ya one thing though,  when an extremely conservative male suddenly “shares with his friends”  something like..

How to Diagnose Vaginal Discharge

You have the whole groups attention,  and their concern.  Never seen so many posts in his history of Facebook.

” Dude??”

“hey man,  got a little problem ya wanna share?”


“LOL,  gotta little  itchy?”

“probably should see a doc asap..LOL”

“and you are sharing this, Why?”

“You are sooo funny”

“please call me,  ROTFLMAO”

Only positive thing at this point I can think of is at least Facebook comes equipped with a delete button too.  While it is a quick fix,  somehow I think it will bring a few snickers from the group for a while.    When hubby saw it,  he thought he was “hacked”  LOL.   If it weren’t for the fact that I was laughing so hard I couldn’t speak,  he may have continued to believe that. 

Moral of this story is, beware of the invasion of the likey buttons on web sites,  especially if you share a computer with someone else,  like your hubby!   The likey button and favorites buttons are two totally different creatures.   Now,  off to the mall to buy “Facebook for Dummies” !!  I wonder if they have the really dumb edition out yet??


The Journey Continues

Today a new life begins,  innocent and pure.   He hears the  thump, thump, thump  of a heart that is strong.   He’ll take  his first breath with  lungs that are clear and savor fresh air without any fear.   He has lived other journeys  absorbing much wisdom.  As he smiles at the world, is he hiding a  secret?  Once a man,  now the past left behind. 

Goodbye, my friend, I know you are safe.  No more pain or suffering for you.    What a wonderful day to start anew.   As I gather with friends to say my goodby’s,  my heart has sadness but  know it was time.   I enjoyed our laughter and your great sense of humor and  wish you much happiness,  as your journey continues. 

In Memory of Rick Helton,  10/11/10

Heroes wear ball caps

Plans for a do-it-yourself project always sound better in the planning stages.  Our motor locked up in our work truck.  It’s October,  the busiest time of our season.  We decide we have a few options.  One,  we can move all of our equipment into a trailer and pull it for a while.  Two, we can go in debt and buy a new truck, or three..Proceed to remove and reinstall a new motor into the truck.    Together, my husband and I are just ambitious and stubborn enough to make us a dangerous combination.  You got it,  we went for option three.

Motor arrived,  within hours we had the motor mounts in,  lined up and bolted to the transmission.  Giddy,  doesn’t even begin to describe the mood after this accomplishment.  Heck,  we’re patting ourselves on the back and convincing ourselves,  we got it whipped now.  Heck,  that was the hard part!  Let’s call it an early evening today and we’ll have this baby running by the end of the day tomorrow.

Here we are,  backyard mechanics because the garage we are building for just this occasion isn’t finished yet.  But that’s ok,  the rain that’s falling just helps wash off the three inches of grease that has now formed to my body. :-)

Planning is the key to success in any given project and we planned our strategy out throughly.  Well,  we made some plans first.  Gotta save some bucks wherever we can so we ordered several new parts on-line and they were delivered super fast from Jegs.  (Thank you Jegs – kiss, kiss)  So far so good.  A few smashed fingers but it’s all good,  makes ya know you’re still alive getting those little fingy’s stuck between the motor mounts and the motor.  Great for creativity too.  Hubby can come up with new words that if Hollywood heard, they’d become the newest fad. 

I believe it was Friedrich Nietzsche, who once said “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.  Well I’m fairly sure at this point he has never replaced an engine  while laying in the gravels in his back yard with a cheap craftsman set of tools a couple screwdrivers, a pair of pliers that came off the Mayflower and a hammer,  for those parts that refuse to co-operate.  If he has,  we should name a holiday in his honor,  but somehow I’m just doubting he has.

We are now at the point where we are figuring out that things are not going as planned.  After spending 3 hours going to every part store in town to purchase just a few parts.    We live in a  town that has a part store on every friggen corner,  so why don’t they  have what we need?    We drive an antique,  it was made in 1980.  Many, many years before most of the employees in said parts store’s were even born.   If one more dude looks at me blankly and say’s,  “you want a whaaat,  for whaaat year?”  I’m going to slap him back into the 80’s.  See, that way he can find the bleeping parts easier. ;-)   Heck,  he might even thank me for it,  the 80’s were great times, weren’t they!

I honestly believe that a higher spirit was watching over us this afternoon when the phone rang and it was, Ole John.  Note,  I did not call him old John,  he’s “ole John”   John was a friend from high school.  We haven’t kept up with him as much through the years because he’s had his own issues.  Tell ya what though,  there ain’t no better mechanic for “antique trucks” anywhere round these parts.  (yes,  I said ain’t)  Cause there just “Ain’t”.

Ole John was here in less than 15 minutes.  Drove up in tattered jeans, a worn looking shirt and his baseball hat turned backward covering his braided pony tail that rest half way down his back.  Without a word,  he slides under the truck and goes to work.   As we start to explain our duress,  he just chuckles and say’s “hand me that 9/16 wrench there brother,  we’ll have this thing rolling in no time”.

Some folks heroes  wear  bright  Jersey’s with big numbers on the front and back and do a little  dance as the fans roar and cheer.  Others wear fire suits  with  logos and smile with glee as they recite their sponsors names.  My hero wears a  ball cap, turned backwards and  a single braid ,  worn half way down his back.

Fear and smear rule the airways

As November rolls around and election day nears I’m noticing more than ever that political campaigns are based on fear.  Commercial after commercial,  politician after politician spending big advertising bucks,  not to tell you what their goals are,  but all the nasty little deeds of their opponents.   Fear and smear campaigns rule the airways. 

As your average Joe’et,  I’m finding it extremely difficult to support any of them.   Why has it  become acceptable in our society to be ruled by fear and accept the smear?  Honestly,  it appears there are no politicians fit to run for office.

I have family members who are quite political.  Countless hours spent campaigning national and local elections.  Honestly,  I admire their strength and determination.  However,  I often wonder if they are powered by fear.

Soon I will have to make the decision to go out and vote,  or not.  I realize that candidates get elected,  regardless of my decision.  Presently,  I find it difficult to sift through the mud and listen to the garbage long enough to make an informed opinion. 

I realize this practice of fear and smear is nothing new in the world of politics.   Supporters  of John Quincy Adams printed handbills accusing Andrew Jackson of executing six militiamen in 1813 without cause. Jackson’s wife was accused of being an adulteress. Grover Cleveland was mocked as the father of a child out-of-wedlock with the slogan, “Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa?” Supporters had the last laugh when he won, his pa was: “Gone to the White House. Ha, ha, ha.”

 This is where we are now with 24 hour news and endless information via the internet.    Apparently,  politician must think we love this stuff.  Sure,  that’s just what we wanna hear,  nobody is fit to run our country.   I think it would be one thing if all the accusations were true,  but it appears that all we get is half-truths and twisty stories spoon fed to us daily.   Nothing makes me more angry than when I find out on my own that a political ad is being less than honest,  just another  smear for personal gain and greed. 

  We’re taught it’s our civic duty to be informed and to go out and vote.  Make America a better place and I’d love to do just that.  However,  if the candidate’s choose not to market their own agenda.  Run a campaign based on  smearing their opposition with as much muck as they can dig up ,  I personally won’t be able to control my nausea long enough to place an honest vote.    As for those future leaders of this great country,  state your facts,  your agenda,  for  if you want my vote,  I  certainly won’t be voting based on fear.  I wanna hear about YOU.

Spring is here

Spring is here and spent my first full weekend fishing.  There is something about fishing that clears you mind and cleans your soul.  I haven’t always liked fishing,  when I was younger I didn’t wanna get dirty or touch those slimy little critters.  Funny what a little age can do for a gal.  Now,  theres few things I’d rather do.   Wish I’d got some pics today,  course the big one got away but I’d at least loved to post a few scenery pics and of the cute little crappy and bluegill I caught.  Next time.


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